We think we need to try so hard. For the love of all that is good and holy, we need to just be. Let life be. Stop trying so hard. Breathe it in… is it any wonder we’re all getting sicker, mental illness on the rise, cancer? We overload ourselves with stress because we feel like we are standing still otherwise. Stress is the killer. If we aren’t overwhelmed, pulling our hair out, missing birthdays, and snapping at strangers then… we aren’t successful? We aren’t trying hard enough at life? Um….. so?

What is so wrong with standing still? Why is just being so hard for us to wrap our brains around. I get that life is short, and I’ll be the first to admit I love being busy. But what I need more of…. Is to chill. You can still be busy, but quit killing yourself. Be as busy as you want, but for god sake, chill out. Never linger in either end of the spectrum for too long… they say life is about balance for a reason.

Being alone with our mind, sitting still… no distraction. This is becoming the world’s biggest fear. And likely why we love to be busy, right? No duh, hey. Needing a distraction is just a fear of our own damn mind. You can’t control your mind by being afraid of it. We abuse everything we can that will help us avoid our mind. The thing is… the world isn’t going to crumble beneath you. If it does, it’s a fluke. Being alone with your thoughts won’t cause it. So nix it. This fear… life’s too short to live in fear. The world is gonna keep turning whether you live fearfully or boldly. Life is short, we said already. So…..What’s to be scared of? Your mind is INSIDE of you. Yet we act like it’s an intruder that we need to destroy. Make peace with your mind, talk to it, get to know it. Let ‘em call you crazy. They’re crazy not to. It’s literally a part of you. Screw what they think. Take care of your mind, it will take care of you.

Would we seriously rather trust someone else’s thoughts and opinions over ours… out of fear that ours will be rejected? That means… putting your life, your future… in someone else’s hands. What path are they gonna lead you down? We’re walking blindly through the forest when we could be opening our eyes and exploring it for ourselves.

Life hasn’t gone perfectly for me, I wasn’t born with this knowledge. This took 23 years to create. I know some scoff at that. 23 years? That’s nothing. Try another decade of heartbreak, let-downs and traumas. Maybe it’s that I have a low threshold for pain? No, It’s because I’m a fighter. Pain is all I know, it has passed the threshold before I was barely old enough to remember. I’ve had to be a fighter. When being strong is your only choice, it becomes second nature… to fight. So the way I see it is why go another decade… why not change things now when I know I can. Is that so crazy?

I have this insane habit, where I will always try to find a way to better my situation. No matter what. I’ve been evicted, I’ve had negative 50 dollars to feed myself with (spoiler alert: I went hungry). I have put my all into people, just to have them walk away without a word, goodbye, or explanation. There one minute, gone the next. I have had to pick the pieces of my heart up by myself enough times, one too many. All its done is drove me. Lit a fire in my belly. Cause screw that. Why? Why keep suffering when you can change it? That to me is crazy.

Crazy isn’t caring about the world and about people, crazy isn’t thinking you can do what you set your mind to, crazy isn’t being whoever the hell you want to be. Crazy is sittin’ in the corner pouting about your life. Crazy is putting on the exact same outfit you see all over social media that 100s of others are wearing. Crazy is being a dime a dozen when you can be a one in a million. Crazy is talking and wishing and dreaming but not being. Practice what you preach, right? Go ahead, ask me – how much do I care? What the world is gonna think of my words… What they think of me? I have no clue cause I haven’t bothered to look into it, or ponder on it.

They say I’m young, but this world makes me feel aged. At 23, I’m exhausted by this generation. I’m just so damn tired of it… and I’m speaking about the majority that is seen, talked about, generalized. I know there are tons of firecrackers out there. And I hope that one day, they take over. We need a refresh button. Wash our minds of all these rules and guidelines. You need to wear this, look like that, don’t speak in this way and know your damn place? Big fuckin’ whoop. I’m over it.

That’s all I’ve got. Relax, and just live as long as the world keeps turning…

And if it seems like I’m angry, I’m not. It’s passion, my friends. Go find yours.

 

Ciara Leah

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