I hide parts of me

They stay cold and cobwebbed

I blame my clumsiness on them

They try to escape on accident

Like if I trip or fumble my words, they’ll see the light of day

The sun will set them on fire

So I won’t have to

My modesty holds me back, again

My modesty holds me back

 

I’m scared to be seen

Like their gazes and opinions, their opposing views

Might tarnish what I’ve built

Track mud through the floors

And leave empty bottles on the lawn

So selfishly stowed away they remain

Waiting impatiently for casualty

My fear holds me back, again

My fear holds me back

 

I grow tired

Of the constant white noise of my weaknesses

The valuable pieces of my soul start to erode, and I can feel it

Modesty and fear outnumber, but I’ve brought an army –

Determination

Guts

Intensity

– They chew away at each other, an even battle

It’s a back and forth crusade, and I show up daily

Try and hold me back, I tease

Try and hold me back

 

Ciara Leah

 

 

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