“Wolves are very diverse animals, which is why they have a habitat that is very spread out around the world. It isn’t true that they only live in very thick forests and come out at night. Wolves have been identified in many areas that you may not ever imagine them being able to survive. Their versatility is amazing and it has helped them to survive in spite of their status as an endangered animal.” – Wolf Habitat, http://www.wolfworlds.com

Becoming a wolf… let’s keep this short and sweet for introductions sake. I’m a woman, that’s safe to say: 23, mama, yadda yadda. Insert here: lyrics to Independent Women by Destiny’s Child. Throw your hands up at me!

I’ve had to make some adjustments over time to keep from losing my head. I’m real stubborn and don’t like to look or feel weak. But I didn’t realize the amount of strength gained in acknowledging and accepting my weaknesses… no one can hold them against you when you own them, no shame.

So much of my journey has been about taking control of my life rather than just letting it happen to me, but it’s a serious balancing act. To be in control of your life you must also completely let go. Sounds counterproductive, right? When we think control we think of action, being proactive and maybe even a little aggressive… but you own your life when you let go of any and all attachments, expectations and what you think is supposed to happen.

By being unbothered by what might happen you are in control – nothing can throw you off. I know I’m in for trouble when I find myself making plans. My love life situation has never been an easy one… after what has felt like a parade of heartbreak for the last decade I finally quit. I let go of the expectation… you know that image most of us probably have? A husband/wife, kids, nice house and nice wheels… well I’ve left that image in my rearview. I let go of everything, laid with myself for a while, as long as I needed. I didn’t leave my house for days… honest. Tossed out everything cluttering me – physically and mentally. I stripped myself of everything ‘til it was just me and that’s when I started to build from the very bottom. This is my journey to becoming more wolf than woman…

Ciara Leah

 

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2 thoughts on “Mic Check

  1. Hi, transformations are tough, especially the ones we don’t get to choose for ourselves, and you have summed up that pain beautifully in this piece! Thanks for sharing, and for stopping by my blog and checking it out!

    Like

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